Saturday, Oct 14, 2018 to when - TBD

Rehab …

Sleeping good was very important and although I had many things that brought me comfort the environment was working against me. As you can imagine a rehab facility, compared to your own bed, made it even more difficult. There were frequent bed checks where they checked your blood pressure and vitals numerous time throughout the day and night and they weren't shy about waking you up if it had to be done. Most people were two to a room and that meant their needs had to be address regardless of your sleep patterns regardless of the hour. Add in the fact the stroke made it impossible to find a comfortable sleeping position complicated the matter. Seems every time I wanted to move I had to wake up and drag the non working arm with me because it wasn't working on its own. Don't get me started on the bed themselves. I sure they were expensive but overly complicated and hard to work needless to say a good sleep was hard for me to come by. Enter the Trazodone (Desyrel). It was a low dose to treat anxiety and sleepiness. I did not want to take it but it was the only thing I could do under the circumstances. It helped some but I spent many nights watching the clock tick by with no sleep. I plan to stop it as soon as I could. Doctors put you on meds but they seldom take you off of them.
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Dining and relaxing area across from my room.

This is where we ate every meal. The food was exemplary and served to nourish those who could eat
it. Sadly everyone couldn't. We are all classified by our various abilities we have to eat. Three different groups some times with trainers and physical therapist being around in the mornings to provide instructions or help with just how to eat. Sounds extraordinary but true … For myself I had to manage to learn what to do and how when it came to eating. Seeing things in a new way yet remembering how I how I used to do it … in hopes of returning there one day. Training never stops here .. you are always learning if you want to be. I want to be!

It wasn't always like that. There were times I just wanted to honestly give up. It seemed hopeless at times. When dinner was over I wouldn't hang around to visit with anybody. Instead I made a habit of what I considered taking an evening walk and spending time alone. Of course, there was the wheelchair I couldn't get away from that. That was my new walk .. least for now. They let me wander down the lonely halls as long as I showed back up in my room for the nurse changeover. About an hour and a half to be free.

I would head down to the front door of the facility to visit with the single guard on duty for that night. They came to know me and knew my routine every night. They let people in and out and monitored things until 8:00 p.m. when they closed things up. My request was simple - I was down around 7:00 p.m. just about every night and all I wanted was to get outside, sit there only 10' from the entrance for the hour, and I would come back inside when it was time to close.

They obliged. I'd take my spot outside sitting in the wheelchair and just stay out there enjoying the night air. It was Oct or Nov but in Santa Barbara, California the weather was mild and nice. I'd see people with their lives running here and there. I'd see cars and an occasional motorcyclist go by on the street. That was usual the time when I felt the gloom but I didn't come out here to sit and mope all the time. I would stand up and see what I could do. Self test of myself as it were. I was careful so as not to alarm the guard least he think I was making a break for it. Yeah right.

I stretched the right arm as far as it would go. It wasn't far that's for sure. I did what stretches I could do safely before quickly sitting back down. I think I could hear the guard exhale as I sat down between stretches relieved he didn't have call anyone because I had fallen. They take fallen as a serious issue .. for us it is. I finished up each night and headed back inside at
8:00 p.m. only to do again the following night. I never fell - A man's got to know his limitations .. Clint Eastwood had this one right. I had many to deal with.

Days were long but with everybody gone it was a welcome sight to see these usual suspects when they could visit..
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She a 2nd Lt. in USAF and her Husband is deployed and she still manages to visit and take care of me and 2 kids.

Rehab final days