End Of Nov 2018 -

How to survive Home …

I was home … but I wasn't home … I think you know how I feel? The old normal didn't fit the improved version of me. When I changed … my world changed. It was that simple. Getting that into my head … not so simple.

I decided I wasn't going to need a wheelchair at home and you know what you can do with that damn walker!
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Ironically stored next to my spare Pirelli Snowcontrol Run Flat which won't be getting any use either!

I have to admit I was angry and acceptance came slowly to me. It will take time I said but I acted as a child would. I can't wait. I want to be better now! Too bad!
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I must put my toys away for awhile now. It's time to fight my way back … back to who I was before the stroke … if that was possible. The wheelchair and the walker I wasn't going to let them get a foot hole in my world so they would not be a part of it I decided. I will not be pampered. However I did indulge in dreams. Mornings, when I just awaken and start gaining conciseness I feel whole and healthy in my body all over only briefly. Then suddenly I realize that when I start moving things are not as they should be. The dream has ended and the reality seeps in again and ahhh yes … I had a stroke. That dead weight is here. I hate that thought but it happen at the start of every day. Least for awhile it lingered. Acceptances is a daily reminder.
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Off the wrist with this … but I was still very much at risk for falling … even more now that I was out in the wild.

At rehab they used to always stress to Watch Out for FALLS. So true for stroke patients like me who can't extend their right hand or arm to catch yourself. You fall down you just do what you can to protect your damaged hand and arm. I was very fortunate in rehab to hide my falls because if a nurse found you it meant closer scrutiny and may delay you getting out. If Yong found me it was all over because … well, you know how wives work.

I hid the one that occurred during my first few days at home which happened in the shed. It happen when I was going to check out my Vstrom 650 and down I went right in front by the door. I broke my fall as best I could but fall I did. Yong wasn't home at that time and I probably wasn't suppose to be out. I got myself up and checked things out. Just because things didn't hurt didn't mean much. I convinced my self all was well but probably it was damaged and bruise some. I didn't mentioned it to Yong to save on the … "I told you so" lesson. I didn't think I needed any additional pain. I had to be careful and try better to not fall. Much would be riding on my staying upright.

I had other things to consider and so did Yong. She became my defacto right side of me. She became determined to have me try everything to heal. It was hard on her and hard on me and the world kept turning even though I was traveling at half speed. She would do anything to heal me or speed up my recovery. A least we had the same end goal though our methods didn't always agree. That was going to be a problem.

The Winter of my Discontent.